19 Weeks

When you read books, or did it for a living (counseling pregnant women) you think that you pretty much are well prepared for the day that its your turn to be pregnant. Oh, how naive I was.

Before I found out that I was with child, I knew that something was different because never in my life (not even with my lifelong struggles with anemia) had I felt such fatigue. Oh, it'll end after the second trimester, is what they told me. Wrong. Don't get me wrong, it does ease up, but every day is a guessing game. One day I feel energized, and then I get a wave of "I just want to go to bed, pleeeeease!" There are some days when that is what I look forward to. Bed time.

The hunger that I experienced during my first trimester was record breaking. In my book atleast. Even Joe would catch himself saying "Wow." I didn't take offense to it, because I myself would be shocked. It felt as if I'd eat, take a break and wait around 20 minutes for the baby to get its fill, and then it would be my turn to get mine because the "I am starving like Marvin" moment would return. That has lessened. During the first couple of weeks, I craved seafood. All that I could think about was having a big plate of paella (that sadly never came because when it was offered, I no longer cared for it.) Now, the only thing that I ever really crave is beans. Dominican style beans, with white rice. I don't know what it is, but mmmm. Other than that, I dont care for much of anything. Only fruits. Note to self: Ask OB if I should be worried about my loss of appetite.

The fun part is that last week I began to feel the baby move. Its random. I feel it when I least expect it. It took getting used to. It feels like a little frog is jumping around in there lol. Now, I just smile whenever I feel it.

On 1O/23 I had my 18 week ultrasound. So far, one of my favorite moments ever! My mami, papi, friend Valeria, and Joe were there with me. The ultrasound tech, Martie was awesome. Such a sweetheart. I loved that eventhough she has seen/scanned thousands of baby ultrasounds she made me feel as if mine was her very first and favorite. Our baby was lying on its head. The position it was in was like a C. It cracked me up. After all of the important scans, and measurements, which I thank God were all normal, we got to find out the gender. Our baby was not shy. It showed us several times that it is what it is... A boy! We are having a boy! I wish I had a camera on me to capture everyone's reactions. We were all shocked. Many of my family members guessed that it would be a girl because of dreams, and such. Joe? He had the biggest smile, and was laughing. His face was the one that I focused on. Me? I was the first one to say... It's a boy? And covered my mouth lol. I couldn't believe it. You might be thinking, why is it such a surprise, when theres only a 50/50 chance of what it could be?--Just wait until you or someone close to you is expecting. It feels like there are a million possibilities of what it could be lol.

So, yeah, Adrian J. Batine is who has been causing all of these body changes lol. Its okay, he's worth it.  If sometimes it sounds as if I am shedding a negative light on pregnancy, excuse me. It is not my intention. Its just me sharing my experience and my wake up call that it isn't all roses and rainbows. Yet, its something that you wouldnt trade for the world because you know that in the end of it, you're getting someone awesome. Something awesome.

A VLOG

OOTD

A girlfriend of mine from my old job set up a movie date. It had been a few weeks since we last saw each other. This was on Tuesday. It was a hot, hot day. I knew that I didnt want to wear jeans, or anything long, so I went with this tribal print dress. It is one f my favorites because I can wear it many, many, ways. I'm sure you'll see it again, since I can dress it up according to the Season.  I've even worn it as a top! The options are endless. Whoops I got sidetracked (common) we were originally set to watch Monsters University 3D. That quickly changed because I was fashionably late to our get together, so instead we ended up watching World War Z, and I loved it. I cannot wait until it is available on RedBox. I know you're thinking "Why were you late Cindia?" See what had happened was... after I grabbed my car keys, I realized that I hadn't put my engagement ring back on after seasoning the meat I was going to cook for dinner... I went to where I usually store it whenever I am cleaning and it wasn't there. I searched everywhere! Even in the places that you would never store a ring. Nope. Nada. Zip.  I cried. I decided to step away and keep the movie date, and come back with a fresh mind, and take my time looking for it. I just hoped that Joe wouldnt find it before me.

When I got back home, I couldn't keep it from him. I told him what happened. He was like "What? You lost a (insert price here) ring?!" He then helped me look for it. He said that he knew something was up because I was too quiet (side eye.) I was in the kitchen doing dishes (I clean when Im angry, or nervous etc) and he comes in and asks "Still haven't found it?" He had his hand near his face, and what do ya know? He has the ring! I was VERY happy. I wouldn't want any other ring. This one is very special, and meaningful. I am sure you will notice the Forever21 ring (So is the bracelet) that I wore instead. This is my very first ootd, so be kind. I will get the hang of it. It was kind of awkward posing for my fiancee. It doesn't help that he does not like the camera.  

I'll end this here. I hope you have a wonderful weekend!

Le Sigh...

The Summer may be a perfect time for weddings. But, feel free to call me weird because my first choice would be the Fall. Eloping has been a thought of ours for a couple of years now. I honestly don't think that I can handle all of that big wedding stuff. And I think that a lot of people tend to forget what it's really about. To share your love with your loved ones; in my opinion. I really want a simple rusty-chic, French Country, romantic themed wedding. In a barn or an old Estate. I close my eyes and I can see it.

We want it to be very small. Intimate. I was once advised to only invite those that I know will be in our lives ten years from the day. Nice, but my motto is to invite those that have shared our journey. Those that have been there for us, not just couple wise, but individually. I already shared this with my parents. Coming from a Dominican family, we tend to invite everyone and their mama to parties and such. Well, our pockets and hearts aren't for that. 

It is only natural to look into probable dress options for both the civil wedding, and then our reception. I mean, duh!

                                       

*xo, c i n d y.

Remember to breathe.

The past weeks I have been on a little emotional rollercoaster. I find mysself in these "I don't want to talk to anyone, I dont want to text, I just want to be." Of course I talk to my fiance. Thankfully, I have some understanding people in my life. Depression wise, I am doing way better. Anxiety is still here. I have anxiety attacks in the morning, sometimes before going to sleep, and at random times throught the day. I just remind myself to breathe. I find myself not breathing sometimes. 

Unto some happier bits. I hosted a small dinner party, the guests were my cousins Malvina, and Genesis, Malvina's boyfriend, and Liam their 8 month old son, and my godson, my bfriend Valeria joined us. It was a nice time, the boys were in the livingroom, and the girls were eating in the diningroom, sharing stories, and a lot of laughs. I made chicken parm, with biscuits and it was pretty good. Easy to make as well. Genesis made an oreo ice cream cake, and it was delicious! I think I will make it myself, but add a twist to it. I hope to share that with you guys. In pictures of course, if I could send you a bowl, I would. Trust me.

Now unto the pictures from that very night. You'll see how adorable, cute, curly, chunky, my godson is. I just want to bite his cheeks lol. I love him, my pollito.

*xo, c i n d y.

Hair and "Friends?"

Believe it or not, I love this hair color, the curls, and everything about it. I am thinking of something new to do with/to my hair. I also love the way that Sarah Jessica Parker has her hair.



What do you ladies think? I am leaning more towards the second picture. A dark reddish brown with light brown like on the picture.

Other than that, I have been well. I only feel pain on my big incision, and have trouble finding the right position to sleep in, so I tend to move around a lot at night, and if I twist my abdomen wrong, I tend to feel pain inside my body. It's a process, but I feel that I am doing well : ) Thanks for the well wishes. It's eye opening how some of my "Friends" have rarely hit me up. But, fuck them. My mentality changed towards the end of 2011. Let me give you some insight:

I moved to Pennsylvania from my hometown in Long Island, NY back in Sept 2006. And, I would always be the one making trips back and forth to New York to hang out with friends. But it took me long enough to say, why do I have to make it so easy for others? Pardon my french but, fuck that, I can take the time and money out to go out there and see you, well you can do the same for me. This isn't the first time that I have blogged about this, I have done so on my livejournal account, when I adapted this. You miss me? Really? Come see me. I am not saying that I am a queen or almighty. But, I've been here for 5 years, there is no reason why you can't come and see me, heck, I have an apartment, there's room. Whatever.

Bitter much? Maybe lol. Just venting. ANYWAY. I got the "Blog" bug tonight, and gave in haha. I hope that you're okay, and well. Enjoy the rest of your week!---Oh and, I do not miss work lol. I am enjoying this time off, hahaha!

* con mucho amor, c i n d y.

Random: Things I Like

This post is just to share some of the things that I like. Some are even my favorites! I could've easily written about them. But that's booooring! So, I decided that pictures would be the best way to do it. Enjoy and stay warm!

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Tiramisu







Candles all over the apartment. The candle holder in the last picture was purchased at a garage sale for $1.00 candles are from Big Lots.


I love baskets. Got this one from Goodwill $0.97 tied a bow on it, and put it in my bathroom as a magazine holder.


Jewelry holder. A gift from my best friend :)


Icey water.


Pizza.


Snow.




Breakfast. It's usually my favorite meal of the day. Not just in the mornings haha.


My Journal!

* con mucho amor, c i n d y.

Birthday Weekend

As I wrote in my previous entry, my 24th birthday was on August 26th. My co workers got me a card and a cute bracelet (I have to take a picture of it to show you) and they baked me cup cakes (red velvet, my fave!) That was the highlight of my actual day. On Friday my boyfriend left work early and took me out for brunch. I was leaving for New York that day, so he dropped me off at the bus terminal.

That Friday I met up with a bff and went to the movies. We watched The Last Exorcism + then had some drinks. Really great times : D Saturday afternoon I met up with Xenia and Kathryn (my two best female friends) and we drove down to Jamaica Ave to catch the E train. I didn't know what we were doing, they wouldn't say. When we made it to the last stop I realized we were going to The World Trade Center. I had mentioned to Xenia how I had never been there before. We went to Ground Zero and into a museum they had around the corner dedicated to 9/11...

We walked around and got some pizza and went inside a accesories store. I was in heaven lol. I bought a necklace. I wanna go back! We then took the train again, and walked around. I saw Outback Steakhouse and thought we were going there, but when we walked past it I looked to my left and said 'Hey, isn't that Lips, the drag queen place?" And they said yeah, and I was like..."Is that where we're going?!" And they laughed and said yeah. Lol I was SO happy! We had a great time! Go if you get the chance! We got a bit tipsy lol. And then went to see Takers. I love my friends, they truly made it an unforgetable weekend! From Friday to Saturday : ) Love you all!

* con mucho amor, c i n d y.