35 Weeker

Yup. 35 weeks, and Adrian decided that enough was enough. He wanted out of my uterus! Secretly, I was thankful that he took pity on me and the discomfort that I was in, but then again, whos to say that he wasn't as uncomfortable or more than I? It just took us all by surprise. I guess he didn't like the birthdate that we chose for him... Cesarean was scheduled for Tuesday March 4th, 2014. Instead, he preferred Tuesday February 18th, 2014. Nice. A boy that knows what he wants, and goes for it.

Ive been keeping a journal for Adrian, since before I was even pregnant. In there I wrote my labor story, and honestly I don't have it in me to write/type all of that up again. Just know that we're all okay. After all that is what matters.

He is now 1 month old and I cannot deal. I am definitely going to be one of those mothers that cries on birthdays. They'll be tears of both joy and sadness. The joy that I feel today is because he's ours. He's healthy, he's a blessing, and he's growing. The sadness is that time flies by quickly! When you have a little one you are more aware of time. Also, the fact that you realize that he won't be a baby forever. What else is there to do but to soak up as much as you can. I catch myself staring at him, taking pictures, and recording him and his features, and how he sucks on his bottom lip when I take the nipple out of his bottle out of his mouth in order to burp him. He's like me in that aspect. Do not mess with our food!

There you have him, our bundle of joy : )

Twenty-Four

According to a baby app on my phone, AJ is the size of a grapefruit. He moves a lot whenever he is awake. My parents got to feel his kicks. He doesn't let Joe feel him lol. As soon as I place Joe's hand on my belly, he decides to remain still. It's funny. He does kick Rocky our dog, Rocky kind of reacts to it, like he moves away a little, but of course he doesn't know whats the heck is kicking him. I can't wait to see the dog and boy relationship lol.

Yesterday my brother, sister in law, mom, Joe and I went to drop off the contract at the banquet hall we decided to go with for the babyshower. It was also a great oppurtunity for everyone involved in the planning to see the place and get an idea of where the things will be and such. I cannot say it enough, how thankful I am for my family and their help. My brother and his wife are the ones throwing it for us. Joe and I are helping to buy things, but if it were just us doing this, it wouldn't be as special? I don't know if it makes sense, but as a Hispanic, the entire family is involved in raising the children in the family. Growing up I was aware that if I broke the rules, or treated my parents like trash, I'd have to deal with the backlash of my actions from my aunts, grandparents, and etc. 

I made up my mind of how I want my cake, I know 1 tier will be red velvet, and the second tier will be pineapple filling. Dominicans love their fruit fillings in their cakes lol. I declined a Dominican cake. We eat it at every family event, and it gets tiring. Luckily Joe's co worker is a baker, and his cakes are just perfect. Not too sweet. His prices are also very reasonable. I hear that his cupcakes are excellent. He makes batches with a variety of flavors. Mmmm, really looking forward to it. My family will be cooking, and depending on what everyone makes, we will get additional platters to add more of a variety. All that I have to do right now, is start buying the mason jars, and the acrylic paint. I decided that the most economical way to go with flowers is baby's breaths. It makes sense too lol. Get it? My friend Valeria will help me with the messy part (painting.) The invitations are all of their way to their homes. The shower is less than a month away, eek! So, bare with me and my shower related posts.

PREGNANCY: Like I mentioned above, I know when he is sleeping. He always wakes up after I have a meal, and moments after I am hungry again lol. He makes sure to take his share haha. My energy levels vary. My 5th month I was seemingly normal. Now in my 6th month, I find myself craving naps, and sleeping in later than I did in my 5th month. But, that is normal. One of the scars from my laparoscopic surgery attempt tends to hurt. Like, really bad. I can tolerate high levels of pain so to me its painful but not to the point of crying, but it is annoying, and uncomfortable. I try to move around hoping that he changes position. That usually helps. I will mention it to my Gyn during my next visit. My appetite varies. One thing that hasn't changed is that I NEED breakfast. If not, I feel like I will collapse. I eat at 7am, and then have to eat again at 11 or 1130. I also try to snack in between meals. Water is always nearby. My juice  of choice right now, is natural lemonaide. And junk food of choice? Mc Donalds. During this month, it seems like I can no longer drink Coke. It gives me palpitations "/ Ive never been a huge soda drinker, but I need caffeine here and there, it helps prevent headaches. So, chocolate will have to do hehe. 

19 Weeks

When you read books, or did it for a living (counseling pregnant women) you think that you pretty much are well prepared for the day that its your turn to be pregnant. Oh, how naive I was.

Before I found out that I was with child, I knew that something was different because never in my life (not even with my lifelong struggles with anemia) had I felt such fatigue. Oh, it'll end after the second trimester, is what they told me. Wrong. Don't get me wrong, it does ease up, but every day is a guessing game. One day I feel energized, and then I get a wave of "I just want to go to bed, pleeeeease!" There are some days when that is what I look forward to. Bed time.

The hunger that I experienced during my first trimester was record breaking. In my book atleast. Even Joe would catch himself saying "Wow." I didn't take offense to it, because I myself would be shocked. It felt as if I'd eat, take a break and wait around 20 minutes for the baby to get its fill, and then it would be my turn to get mine because the "I am starving like Marvin" moment would return. That has lessened. During the first couple of weeks, I craved seafood. All that I could think about was having a big plate of paella (that sadly never came because when it was offered, I no longer cared for it.) Now, the only thing that I ever really crave is beans. Dominican style beans, with white rice. I don't know what it is, but mmmm. Other than that, I dont care for much of anything. Only fruits. Note to self: Ask OB if I should be worried about my loss of appetite.

The fun part is that last week I began to feel the baby move. Its random. I feel it when I least expect it. It took getting used to. It feels like a little frog is jumping around in there lol. Now, I just smile whenever I feel it.

On 1O/23 I had my 18 week ultrasound. So far, one of my favorite moments ever! My mami, papi, friend Valeria, and Joe were there with me. The ultrasound tech, Martie was awesome. Such a sweetheart. I loved that eventhough she has seen/scanned thousands of baby ultrasounds she made me feel as if mine was her very first and favorite. Our baby was lying on its head. The position it was in was like a C. It cracked me up. After all of the important scans, and measurements, which I thank God were all normal, we got to find out the gender. Our baby was not shy. It showed us several times that it is what it is... A boy! We are having a boy! I wish I had a camera on me to capture everyone's reactions. We were all shocked. Many of my family members guessed that it would be a girl because of dreams, and such. Joe? He had the biggest smile, and was laughing. His face was the one that I focused on. Me? I was the first one to say... It's a boy? And covered my mouth lol. I couldn't believe it. You might be thinking, why is it such a surprise, when theres only a 50/50 chance of what it could be?--Just wait until you or someone close to you is expecting. It feels like there are a million possibilities of what it could be lol.

So, yeah, Adrian J. Batine is who has been causing all of these body changes lol. Its okay, he's worth it.  If sometimes it sounds as if I am shedding a negative light on pregnancy, excuse me. It is not my intention. Its just me sharing my experience and my wake up call that it isn't all roses and rainbows. Yet, its something that you wouldnt trade for the world because you know that in the end of it, you're getting someone awesome. Something awesome.

Baby, its you!

I know. Don't even say it. I suck.

The last couple of entries I mentioned how I was feeling off, and just dealing with some health issues. Turns out that they weren't really health issues, but the signs/symptoms of early pregnancy. Yep. That's right. God willing come March 2014 Joe and I will welcome our first child. It was a shock. But it wasnt unexpected.

I will try, I mean really try to document and share the entire pregnancy with you. It will also be nice to read back once post partum amnescia has kicked in.

I am 15 weeks. The baby is the size of an apple lol. I have a small baby bump, have yet to feel actual movements. I think Ive felt flutters, especially when I try to lay on my belly. So long belly sleeping days, until we meet again! My family is to the moon with joy. This will be my parent's first grandchild. We caught their reactions to the news on video lol. I will have to get that up here for you to see. Its priceless lol. I always thought that I would wait to share with anyone other than Joe, whenever I got pregnant. I always said that I would want to wait until the 12 week mark, but the moment that I took the second positive test 4 days after two others came back with faint lines, it all went out the window. I got ready and we drove to their house lol. They were the first to know. Then came my brothers. At 12 weeks is when I announced it to the rest of the people in our lives. Now, its your turn! I didnt plan to wait this long to share the news with you, it just worked out that way.

Like I said, I will try to update on here as much as possible. I will warn you. I will keep it 100% real, and it'll be raw. I already have a few post ideas in my cabeza.  Here we gooooooooooo!

BABY, YOURE A FIREWORK.

I was lucky enough to be able to snap some pictures while Joe and I's family was here. The pictures are of our god children/niece and nephew Ethan 5 years old, and Ava 1y 6month old. You also see appearances from their parents, Vanesa and Jeffrey, my fiance's brother. You also sorta see my fiance. That's his arm in the last picture, and you can see him standing with Ethan, and his brother watching the sort of kid friendly-but not really kid friendly, fireworks. 

I will keep uploading more, and will share them with you as I go. I took a lot of the fireworks. I love to do that. Sometimes you end up with cool effects without even having to do anything with your camera. That's the type of photo taker that I am. I like to stand back, and let everyone do their natural thing, and I just snap away. I also don't like to edit the pictures TOO much. As cliche' as it might sound, I like to keep things real.  Not knocking anyone who edits a lot.

I am a beginner, and am learning as I go. In the near future I hope to share with you the other half of this blog. My photography blog. Its a working process. 

As for my personal life, I am doing well. Got some things going on, and many things to look forward to. I will share all of those with you sooner than later, I promise! Also, expect more Vlogs! I love making those. Its funny when you look back at your younger self in videos. The way you talked, the things you said. I laugh at myself, and I enjoy it : )

I hope you're well! If not, then trust me it will get better! Just give it time. Kisses! Kisses!

PS. This heat has got to go! That is all.

WHERE DO YOU GO?

Apologies for the lack of posts. I had my brother and sis in law along with our niece and nephew/god kids, here since Wednesday. They left on Sunday afternoon. It was a very busy couple of days, and I have a few other things going on right now.

I haven't abandoned you, and expect pictures when I come back. A post of mine without pictures feels incomplete. I have to edit many pictures in order to add them to my photography page that I am putting together. I hate using the macbook for that because it hurts my wrist after a while of editing. I hope to purchase a desktop in the near future, it will make things easier. Laptops tend to give off a lot of heat. Or is it just mine? I've been having hot flashes as it is lol. This weather sucks. I do not enjoy the Summer. I think I go out more during the other seasons. Weird right?

Before I go, I don't quite remember where I heard or read this, but I will try to live my life, looking at the positive qualities in people, and life, instead of dwelling on the negative.

I will leave you with that. Enjoy your week!

GODMOTHER

Pictured: Male in white tank top is my cousin Billy, Liam's uncle. The male in the blue striped polo is my father. In the green top, we have my mother. In the black t-shirt is Darren, Liam's father. Red striped dress, Malvina, Liam's "momma" as he calls her. In the first picture with the brown tank top, is my mama (grandmother) Maria, she was the one saying the prayers and pouring the water. And of course we have the little man of the hour, Liam. You can also see a piece of my fiancee in the background lol.

For my non-latino readers (correct me if I am wrong in singling us out) what you see in the pictures above are not child abuse, I swear. It is a custom called "Bautismo de Agua" or "Hecharle Agua" it translates to "Throw water." Google translate for ya'll here. This was not really planned, which explains how everyone is kind of grouped together like that. It was kind of hectic especially since Liam was crying his little eyes out. The godparents are myself (oh and thats me in the mustardish top), and my cousin (Malvina/Liam's mami's brother.) He happened to be in Pennsylvania, so we took advantage of that and handled our business. The older generation of our family which includes; all of our parents/grandparents, believe that you cannot cut the child's hair until this (points up) is done. Le sigh. All of the young adults just agree, because we all know you can't argue with grandma! Especially not about something that is so meaningful for them. And heck, I'll probably keep the tradition alive with my future kids. When we left, my fiancee Joe, tells me, "I don't know what was going on in there, but we're not doing that to our kids." I couldn't help but laughed, but once I explained the circumstances he changed his mind.

Other than that, my day started off pretty early. I won't say whats considered early to me, because I think I would get whacked in the head. At least thats what my oldest brother does to me. Let me put it like this, I love my sleep. I am the type that if I wake up a minute before my alarm (cringe) goes off, I will get that extra minute in. Yeah, so I woke up early because my parents both had appointments with their doctor. I actually liked the fact that I went with them, because I got the doctor to order some overdue tests on my mother. Mami wasn't thrilled, but she understands why they have to be done.

Sheesh, it was hot today. Its still hot now! I can complain, because you never hear me saying "I cant wait till the Summer comes!" I enjoy Spring, and Autumn. Winter and Summer can go to Mars for all I care.

I hope you had a lovely cool day. Mine sure was a lovely one.

Le Sigh...

The Summer may be a perfect time for weddings. But, feel free to call me weird because my first choice would be the Fall. Eloping has been a thought of ours for a couple of years now. I honestly don't think that I can handle all of that big wedding stuff. And I think that a lot of people tend to forget what it's really about. To share your love with your loved ones; in my opinion. I really want a simple rusty-chic, French Country, romantic themed wedding. In a barn or an old Estate. I close my eyes and I can see it.

We want it to be very small. Intimate. I was once advised to only invite those that I know will be in our lives ten years from the day. Nice, but my motto is to invite those that have shared our journey. Those that have been there for us, not just couple wise, but individually. I already shared this with my parents. Coming from a Dominican family, we tend to invite everyone and their mama to parties and such. Well, our pockets and hearts aren't for that. 

It is only natural to look into probable dress options for both the civil wedding, and then our reception. I mean, duh!

                                       

*xo, c i n d y.

Remember to breathe.

The past weeks I have been on a little emotional rollercoaster. I find mysself in these "I don't want to talk to anyone, I dont want to text, I just want to be." Of course I talk to my fiance. Thankfully, I have some understanding people in my life. Depression wise, I am doing way better. Anxiety is still here. I have anxiety attacks in the morning, sometimes before going to sleep, and at random times throught the day. I just remind myself to breathe. I find myself not breathing sometimes. 

Unto some happier bits. I hosted a small dinner party, the guests were my cousins Malvina, and Genesis, Malvina's boyfriend, and Liam their 8 month old son, and my godson, my bfriend Valeria joined us. It was a nice time, the boys were in the livingroom, and the girls were eating in the diningroom, sharing stories, and a lot of laughs. I made chicken parm, with biscuits and it was pretty good. Easy to make as well. Genesis made an oreo ice cream cake, and it was delicious! I think I will make it myself, but add a twist to it. I hope to share that with you guys. In pictures of course, if I could send you a bowl, I would. Trust me.

Now unto the pictures from that very night. You'll see how adorable, cute, curly, chunky, my godson is. I just want to bite his cheeks lol. I love him, my pollito.

*xo, c i n d y.

Fell in love with a dandelion.

It feels like the people that were once very active on here (the ones that I followed) aren't updating much or at all. Yet, it makes me feel free. I am writing as if noone will be reading my entries but me. But ofcourse, this is the internet, and you are never really alone, and I am okay with that. I mean, you have to be if you're running a blog.

The past few days have been, unproductive to say the least. I don't know if I am getting depressed or if it has anything to do with the fact that I haven't been keeping up with my happy pills as prescribed. Don't worry, I am reminding myself to do so, if not then my body, and emotions are a loud reminder. I am trying to remain positive. I have been walking around a lot lately. I grab the leash and my walking buddy gets excited and comes with me. I just dont want to come down with cabin fever. Plus, sunlight is a natural way to get happy. It helps that our neighborhood is a beautiful and peaceful one. It also helps that every car that passes by, the driver waves, or greets me with a smile. I also get the oppurtunity of meeting and chatting with our neighbors. Rocky attracts a lot of attention. I think he has a crush on a yellow labrador retriever that lives around the corner. I love walking and soaking up the beauty that is nature. The flowers that are blooming on the trees. Soon they will fall, and bright green leaves will take their place. I took my cellphone along for the walk today. I captured some beautiful pictures that you will find at the end of the post. 

Joe is turning into such a handy man when it comes to the yard, the gutters, the basement. Its funny to see him wake up early on a Saturday because "the lawn must be mowed." Its sexy. 

My parents came over last week. Mami helped me clean and organize. Well, it was mostly her telling me how things should be organized in the kitchen cabinets. I didn't argue. My younger self would have, just to be stubborn. Instead, I agreed, or gave her a reasonable reason as to why I need these cups on the lower level of the top shelf because we use those everyday. We make a good team. Papi, was in the livingroom watching ESPN, and eating fruit that I served him. He wants to come by because he bought me some flowers and he wants us to plant them in the front of the house. I think that is so cute.

I have noticed that my taste in blogs have changed. I used to solemly follow makeup and beauty related blogs. I have unfollowed many, and only kept the ones that offer a variety of material, ie: fashion, lifestyle, home decor. This explains why I have joined the community of Bloglovin. I want to mess with it, and see what blogs I bump into. 

Anyway, enjoy your weekend! Maybe I'll update before the end of it...

See what I mean? Breathtakingly beautiful.

I made a wish. Those things flew around me all the way home. Good sign?

*keep smiling, c i n d y.

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