35 Weeker

Yup. 35 weeks, and Adrian decided that enough was enough. He wanted out of my uterus! Secretly, I was thankful that he took pity on me and the discomfort that I was in, but then again, whos to say that he wasn't as uncomfortable or more than I? It just took us all by surprise. I guess he didn't like the birthdate that we chose for him... Cesarean was scheduled for Tuesday March 4th, 2014. Instead, he preferred Tuesday February 18th, 2014. Nice. A boy that knows what he wants, and goes for it.

Ive been keeping a journal for Adrian, since before I was even pregnant. In there I wrote my labor story, and honestly I don't have it in me to write/type all of that up again. Just know that we're all okay. After all that is what matters.

He is now 1 month old and I cannot deal. I am definitely going to be one of those mothers that cries on birthdays. They'll be tears of both joy and sadness. The joy that I feel today is because he's ours. He's healthy, he's a blessing, and he's growing. The sadness is that time flies by quickly! When you have a little one you are more aware of time. Also, the fact that you realize that he won't be a baby forever. What else is there to do but to soak up as much as you can. I catch myself staring at him, taking pictures, and recording him and his features, and how he sucks on his bottom lip when I take the nipple out of his bottle out of his mouth in order to burp him. He's like me in that aspect. Do not mess with our food!

There you have him, our bundle of joy : )

Twenty-Four

According to a baby app on my phone, AJ is the size of a grapefruit. He moves a lot whenever he is awake. My parents got to feel his kicks. He doesn't let Joe feel him lol. As soon as I place Joe's hand on my belly, he decides to remain still. It's funny. He does kick Rocky our dog, Rocky kind of reacts to it, like he moves away a little, but of course he doesn't know whats the heck is kicking him. I can't wait to see the dog and boy relationship lol.

Yesterday my brother, sister in law, mom, Joe and I went to drop off the contract at the banquet hall we decided to go with for the babyshower. It was also a great oppurtunity for everyone involved in the planning to see the place and get an idea of where the things will be and such. I cannot say it enough, how thankful I am for my family and their help. My brother and his wife are the ones throwing it for us. Joe and I are helping to buy things, but if it were just us doing this, it wouldn't be as special? I don't know if it makes sense, but as a Hispanic, the entire family is involved in raising the children in the family. Growing up I was aware that if I broke the rules, or treated my parents like trash, I'd have to deal with the backlash of my actions from my aunts, grandparents, and etc. 

I made up my mind of how I want my cake, I know 1 tier will be red velvet, and the second tier will be pineapple filling. Dominicans love their fruit fillings in their cakes lol. I declined a Dominican cake. We eat it at every family event, and it gets tiring. Luckily Joe's co worker is a baker, and his cakes are just perfect. Not too sweet. His prices are also very reasonable. I hear that his cupcakes are excellent. He makes batches with a variety of flavors. Mmmm, really looking forward to it. My family will be cooking, and depending on what everyone makes, we will get additional platters to add more of a variety. All that I have to do right now, is start buying the mason jars, and the acrylic paint. I decided that the most economical way to go with flowers is baby's breaths. It makes sense too lol. Get it? My friend Valeria will help me with the messy part (painting.) The invitations are all of their way to their homes. The shower is less than a month away, eek! So, bare with me and my shower related posts.

PREGNANCY: Like I mentioned above, I know when he is sleeping. He always wakes up after I have a meal, and moments after I am hungry again lol. He makes sure to take his share haha. My energy levels vary. My 5th month I was seemingly normal. Now in my 6th month, I find myself craving naps, and sleeping in later than I did in my 5th month. But, that is normal. One of the scars from my laparoscopic surgery attempt tends to hurt. Like, really bad. I can tolerate high levels of pain so to me its painful but not to the point of crying, but it is annoying, and uncomfortable. I try to move around hoping that he changes position. That usually helps. I will mention it to my Gyn during my next visit. My appetite varies. One thing that hasn't changed is that I NEED breakfast. If not, I feel like I will collapse. I eat at 7am, and then have to eat again at 11 or 1130. I also try to snack in between meals. Water is always nearby. My juice  of choice right now, is natural lemonaide. And junk food of choice? Mc Donalds. During this month, it seems like I can no longer drink Coke. It gives me palpitations "/ Ive never been a huge soda drinker, but I need caffeine here and there, it helps prevent headaches. So, chocolate will have to do hehe. 

19 Weeks

When you read books, or did it for a living (counseling pregnant women) you think that you pretty much are well prepared for the day that its your turn to be pregnant. Oh, how naive I was.

Before I found out that I was with child, I knew that something was different because never in my life (not even with my lifelong struggles with anemia) had I felt such fatigue. Oh, it'll end after the second trimester, is what they told me. Wrong. Don't get me wrong, it does ease up, but every day is a guessing game. One day I feel energized, and then I get a wave of "I just want to go to bed, pleeeeease!" There are some days when that is what I look forward to. Bed time.

The hunger that I experienced during my first trimester was record breaking. In my book atleast. Even Joe would catch himself saying "Wow." I didn't take offense to it, because I myself would be shocked. It felt as if I'd eat, take a break and wait around 20 minutes for the baby to get its fill, and then it would be my turn to get mine because the "I am starving like Marvin" moment would return. That has lessened. During the first couple of weeks, I craved seafood. All that I could think about was having a big plate of paella (that sadly never came because when it was offered, I no longer cared for it.) Now, the only thing that I ever really crave is beans. Dominican style beans, with white rice. I don't know what it is, but mmmm. Other than that, I dont care for much of anything. Only fruits. Note to self: Ask OB if I should be worried about my loss of appetite.

The fun part is that last week I began to feel the baby move. Its random. I feel it when I least expect it. It took getting used to. It feels like a little frog is jumping around in there lol. Now, I just smile whenever I feel it.

On 1O/23 I had my 18 week ultrasound. So far, one of my favorite moments ever! My mami, papi, friend Valeria, and Joe were there with me. The ultrasound tech, Martie was awesome. Such a sweetheart. I loved that eventhough she has seen/scanned thousands of baby ultrasounds she made me feel as if mine was her very first and favorite. Our baby was lying on its head. The position it was in was like a C. It cracked me up. After all of the important scans, and measurements, which I thank God were all normal, we got to find out the gender. Our baby was not shy. It showed us several times that it is what it is... A boy! We are having a boy! I wish I had a camera on me to capture everyone's reactions. We were all shocked. Many of my family members guessed that it would be a girl because of dreams, and such. Joe? He had the biggest smile, and was laughing. His face was the one that I focused on. Me? I was the first one to say... It's a boy? And covered my mouth lol. I couldn't believe it. You might be thinking, why is it such a surprise, when theres only a 50/50 chance of what it could be?--Just wait until you or someone close to you is expecting. It feels like there are a million possibilities of what it could be lol.

So, yeah, Adrian J. Batine is who has been causing all of these body changes lol. Its okay, he's worth it.  If sometimes it sounds as if I am shedding a negative light on pregnancy, excuse me. It is not my intention. Its just me sharing my experience and my wake up call that it isn't all roses and rainbows. Yet, its something that you wouldnt trade for the world because you know that in the end of it, you're getting someone awesome. Something awesome.

Baby, its you!

I know. Don't even say it. I suck.

The last couple of entries I mentioned how I was feeling off, and just dealing with some health issues. Turns out that they weren't really health issues, but the signs/symptoms of early pregnancy. Yep. That's right. God willing come March 2014 Joe and I will welcome our first child. It was a shock. But it wasnt unexpected.

I will try, I mean really try to document and share the entire pregnancy with you. It will also be nice to read back once post partum amnescia has kicked in.

I am 15 weeks. The baby is the size of an apple lol. I have a small baby bump, have yet to feel actual movements. I think Ive felt flutters, especially when I try to lay on my belly. So long belly sleeping days, until we meet again! My family is to the moon with joy. This will be my parent's first grandchild. We caught their reactions to the news on video lol. I will have to get that up here for you to see. Its priceless lol. I always thought that I would wait to share with anyone other than Joe, whenever I got pregnant. I always said that I would want to wait until the 12 week mark, but the moment that I took the second positive test 4 days after two others came back with faint lines, it all went out the window. I got ready and we drove to their house lol. They were the first to know. Then came my brothers. At 12 weeks is when I announced it to the rest of the people in our lives. Now, its your turn! I didnt plan to wait this long to share the news with you, it just worked out that way.

Like I said, I will try to update on here as much as possible. I will warn you. I will keep it 100% real, and it'll be raw. I already have a few post ideas in my cabeza.  Here we gooooooooooo!

A VLOG

GODMOTHER

Pictured: Male in white tank top is my cousin Billy, Liam's uncle. The male in the blue striped polo is my father. In the green top, we have my mother. In the black t-shirt is Darren, Liam's father. Red striped dress, Malvina, Liam's "momma" as he calls her. In the first picture with the brown tank top, is my mama (grandmother) Maria, she was the one saying the prayers and pouring the water. And of course we have the little man of the hour, Liam. You can also see a piece of my fiancee in the background lol.

For my non-latino readers (correct me if I am wrong in singling us out) what you see in the pictures above are not child abuse, I swear. It is a custom called "Bautismo de Agua" or "Hecharle Agua" it translates to "Throw water." Google translate for ya'll here. This was not really planned, which explains how everyone is kind of grouped together like that. It was kind of hectic especially since Liam was crying his little eyes out. The godparents are myself (oh and thats me in the mustardish top), and my cousin (Malvina/Liam's mami's brother.) He happened to be in Pennsylvania, so we took advantage of that and handled our business. The older generation of our family which includes; all of our parents/grandparents, believe that you cannot cut the child's hair until this (points up) is done. Le sigh. All of the young adults just agree, because we all know you can't argue with grandma! Especially not about something that is so meaningful for them. And heck, I'll probably keep the tradition alive with my future kids. When we left, my fiancee Joe, tells me, "I don't know what was going on in there, but we're not doing that to our kids." I couldn't help but laughed, but once I explained the circumstances he changed his mind.

Other than that, my day started off pretty early. I won't say whats considered early to me, because I think I would get whacked in the head. At least thats what my oldest brother does to me. Let me put it like this, I love my sleep. I am the type that if I wake up a minute before my alarm (cringe) goes off, I will get that extra minute in. Yeah, so I woke up early because my parents both had appointments with their doctor. I actually liked the fact that I went with them, because I got the doctor to order some overdue tests on my mother. Mami wasn't thrilled, but she understands why they have to be done.

Sheesh, it was hot today. Its still hot now! I can complain, because you never hear me saying "I cant wait till the Summer comes!" I enjoy Spring, and Autumn. Winter and Summer can go to Mars for all I care.

I hope you had a lovely cool day. Mine sure was a lovely one.

Chocolate and God

What's happening? I am okay. Keeping myself busy. Surprisingly I haven't been oversleeping. I don't know whether to blame, or thank Rocky (our dog) for that. He wakes up like clockwork between 10:15-10:30am. He's funny, and persistant! 

Tomorrow, I have to go to the community college, and prove that I am a US Citizen. My certificate has my birthday as 8/26/2086. So, bow down biatches because I am from the future! ;) I kid. I kid. Afterwards I will go to the library, to check out something for my mother, and if they have it, I'll rent it. Umm.. What else? Let me just share some pictures, those always make updating you easier. Enjoy!

To keep with our budget, I have been cooking everyday. I even baked 

yesterday, and made this 2 tier chocolate cake w/ sprinkles! Yummy.

Okay. We cheated last weekend, but I was craving this triple decker

turkey club. It is so good! Ha, its a work of art, right? Again, yum!

We had a little visitor yesterday. What a cutie.

= what keeps me going, baby!

Other than that, I am still painting walls. I have moved into the dining room. I can't wait till its done. I love the colors that I chose. Don't worry, I have been taking plenty of pictures as I go along.

Okay, to bed I go. Tomorrow will be my last day covered by the old job insurance (can you believe they wanted $615 a month if I decided to keep it?! Theyre crazy.) This is only temporary. This is only temporary. Good night, and have a lovely day.

*besos, c i n d y.

Tick Tock

So much has happened. I am sure that I am not the only one that knows how drastically things can change in a matter of days, hours, minutes--you get the point. 

4/3/2013 Move out of the apartment into the house. 

4/16/2013 Got laid off from work.  

4/23/2013 Stressed out and emotionally unstable. Thankful for all of the support from my friends and family. I am putting on my brave face, but inside I am a mess. I trust God, and he must have a great plan for me. Even if I cry, and waiver, I trust You. 

*xo, c i n d y.

Decorations and Recuperation...

Christmas decorations 2011. Joe picked the snow man, I picked the fat snowball for our fatty guinea pig Abby, Joe picked the teddy bear for Rocky since he loves them (I found it in Rocky's mouth one day smh) and the Eiffel Tower is mine : ) So are the Uggs, theyre my Christmas present from Joe. I got him the Xbox 360 Kinect, and he got me Just Dance 3, and I got myself Dance Central 2, I think it's called.

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I have been MIA with a good enough reason. I had my surgery! It was on 12/22/2011. We got there at around 5:40 am. I was accompanied by my mom,dad, and Joe (boyfriend). I changed into my gown, they tried to put my iv line in and failed (I have really bad veins). They took me back and I got in a bed in the waiting area, with a whole bunch of other people awaiting surgery. My family was able to join me (at last). We waited until 7:45am and we said our see you laters. I was trying so hard not to cry because my mother was already starting to do so. I told her "Mami, no llore" (mami don't cry) as I was being wheeled away by the anesthesiologist, and a nurse. They took me into the surgery room which was cold as ice. I saw my GYN and she held my hand as the anesthesiologist got my iv in, and put in the medicine. About 1 minute later, my other surgeon came in and said hello. I felt the effects of the drug and knocked out.

The first thing that I remember after waking up, is severe cramping, and complaining about it. I knocked out again, and woke up to the doctor by my side, telling me that due to my bleeding, I would need a blood transfusion. He spoke to me about the surgery and everything else. I was now in the recovery area, thirsty as hell, and with other patients. I would fall in and out of sleep, and nurses at my side ever so often. I really just wanted to be put in a room and reunite with my family. The surgery lasted an hour longer, so it totaled 5 hours. After two pints of blood, some water being given to me from a sponge (it felt as if I had not drank in days weeks even!) around 5 1/2 hours later, I was in a room, and my family was able to come in and see me.

They stayed for about an hour so. I was exhausted and wanted to sleep. My evening nurse was my favorite (Nikki) she was a sweetheart, and I am very thankful for her. That first night wasn't as bad, I had my button that I could press whenever I had pain, and it would give me pain relief. About 6 am the next day, I had to get up and walk around with the help of Nikki. It was the shortest, yet longest walk of my life. I had to get an incision on my bikini line, after the laparoscopic procedure failed due to my bleeding and the size of my fibroid (I found out today that it weighed 1 pound!) I would be in bed for most of my time at the hospital, now being able to get up (with help) to pee a little at a time. I refused to let my body decide that Id have to come home with a catheter. The rest of the time, I had to get up and walk. Joe was/and has been very patient, and helpful. You really fall in love all over again with someone when things like this happen.

I came home late afternoon of Christmas eve. Needless to say it was a sore, painful, uncomfortable, frustrating, yet thankful Christmas. You never hate coughing/sneezing/walking as much as you do after any abdominal procedure. It has been a very emotional, and long journey but here I am, on medical leave. I have 4 more weeks left. I am trying to relax as much as possible, and to just take it easy. I still can't lift anything over 10 lbs, so my poor baby Rocky breaks my heart when he begs, and cries for me to do so, but soon I'll be back to me. A new improved me haha. Happy New Year!!

* con mucho amor, c i n d y.

Full Circle

Hey! I am getting better at blogging more frequently right? RIGHT? That's what I thought! Lol, don't mind me, I've been acting all "hard" and "tough" lately, for no reason haha.

Happy Monday! Mine was pretty eventful, slowly catching up on all of my paper work at my job. I have been seeing a lot of clients lately! A lot of my first time clients have been coming in for pregnancy tests and it really feels like we've come full circle.

I got a new job. That's what I was talking about in my last entry. I had the interview when I blogged last. And the day after, I got word that my references were being called. Luckily they all said great things about me. I will be working at the town's hospital. Full time hours, no holidays or weekends, and full benefits. That is what I am the most excited about. BENEFITS BABY! It's all very very bittersweet. I love my job, I love the cause, but some things just weren't the same, and I think God was kind of nudging me to go out and look for something else. I will be there 1 night a week though, because it's not about the money when it comes to that place. It really isn't. But, I have life plans that called for more money and other perks. We'll see how everything goes. But I trust in God (I am a very spiritual person if you haven't guessed). On Saturday I had to go and get my digital finger prints taken, they've upgraded I see lol, no more messy ink. Today, I went and had a drug test, urine test, blood work, and a hep shot, since I only got 2 dozes instead of the 3, whoops! My left arm feels all sorts of jacked-up-ness right now.

Now, join me while I do a victory dance... Wooooooo Wooooooo lol. Thanks for humoring me.

This weekend we are off to New York to help celebrate hub's nephew/our god son's 3rd birthday. We got him some kicks and clothes. My parents get back this Saturday, and they'll come back with us on Sunday. Oh! I finally finished reading the book The Glass House, and I cried at the end of it "/ yes people, I Cindia, am a softy lol. Don't take me to see sad movies because you'll be like Really?! haha. Maybe I'll do a quick review of the book? Have a blessed week my loves! And thanks for all of the comments on my previous entry!

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I was driving today and saw this guy busting some moves. He was dressed as Lady Liberty.





My new umbrella!



Ethan's sneakers.



Got my biatches as my desktop wallpaper.



I love this wall decor. Got it from Bed Bath & Beyond on Saturday.

* con mucho amor, c i n d y.

Hello Sunshine,

Ahh! A lot has been going on. Things that pertain to my family, and shit. My cousin Malvina dropped a MAJOR MAJOR bomb on me about something. It's kind of a "chisme" (gossip) but, oh well. It's CRAZY how you may think someone you've looked up to, is actually human and messes up, and that, I understand, but the stuff she told me? Unacceptable. But, who am I to judge? Who is anyone to judge? But let's be real, we all do it from time to time. It's the human in us. I apologize if this doesn't make ANY sense to any of you. But, I just needed to vent.

The pets are good, the boyfriend is good, heck, I am good. Other than, mother nature doing her thang, oh the horror! I am glad that I didn't PMS as bad as I usually do ie: back pains, mood swings, back pains, did I mention back pains? I believe it when I was told that woman tolerate more pain than man. Yes, I used the A and not a E. I mean, we go through birth, we get periods, we go through menopause and other things. And most men want to call off of work when they're sick and want us to rub vicks on their chest or whatever lol.

Something great happened today. But until I know the answer, my lips are sealed! I pray a lot about things. Especially when I am not sure if I am taking the right path or making the "right" decision. The unknown can be very scary, but that's what keeps things interesting right? Something else I have been doing is dog walking and plant watering, mail collecting and bill paying. Things that my parents left for me to do while they are off enjoying their Dominican Rep. vacation. I really hope their enjoying every minute of it : )

I have to stop by my school and pay off the money that I owe. I have it, I am just a procrastinator. No bueno. And I have to return a book that is about 2 months over due lol. I think Imma sneak it into the library and leave it there lmao. I get VERY shy when I mess up with things like that. Yo no soy una sin verguenza lol, I have a lot of it!

Anyway, what's a post without pictures? Enjoy and have a fabulous week!

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I have been wearing color on my lips. Adios nudes! (Okay, only nudes at work!)



I love this top. It's off the shoulder, not shown here.



Abby: Nom Nom Nom.



How pretty is my book mark?! PRETTY!



A peek inside my journal.

* con mucho amor, c i n d y.

I saw a sign...

Lately I have been a bit stressed. Actually scratch that, it's been longer than lately, but for the last few weeks I have actually started to try and make a change. I refuse to be one of those people that always cry about wanting to win the lottery yet never ever plays it.

I have a job. I consider it part time because the most hours the office is open are 30. I love what I do, and when I tell people what I do and they get it, they fall in love with it too. But you know how it usually is, the jobs that we love, don't pay the bills that we hate. I made that saying up last night, so when you use it and say "They say..." the "They" is me, lol okay let me stop. So, I have been applying for work. Mostly part time, but if there is a full time that I am interested in, I go for it. I have placed it in God's hands. He will lead me and take me where I am to go, if I am to go somewhere. Next week I will go to a clerical agency and apply, that way they can be on the look out, instead of me having to do it all the time.

I gave a heads up to my lovely co worker yesterday since we are the only 2 full time counselors. She was like "Oh my goodness don't tell me that Cindia, you can't leave. I don't want you to." And about 10 minutes after we spoke about it, I got a buzz on my phone in the office and I answered, it was boss lady saying how as of January 1st our office will be offering their full time employees health insurance (which is a major reason as to why I want to find another job, to be able to afford some). It was really hard for me not to laugh. God is amazing, and He has showed that to me on MANY MANY occasions, one being the fact that I wake up every morning. Now, that still doesn't get my bills paid but it's a step up. I wonder if it's not my time to part from my work place. None the less I will still apply for part time jobs. After all, school ends on the 9th and I doubt that I'll be able to attend the Spring semester because I have a balance to pay "/

We'll see what the next few days, weeks or ever months hold. I will definitely keep you updated! Wish my luck!

* con mucho amor, c i n d y.